Sometimes I feel lost,
The city is moving but my mind stops.
Where do I go and who can I trust?
Everywhere I look, they see me.
Staring. Without stopping.
Wondering, waiting. Fearful.
Where do I go? Where can I hide?
I swear the walls are in on it too.
Nowhere to go. I feel all alone.
“We all have this problem” – they tell me, those who don’t know.
Do you feel this desperate?
Do you feel this cold?
I shake and shiver in my fear.
Not even sleep can relieve me of my despair.
I dream and nightmare of my current state,
Waiting and waiting to stop my self-hate.
Help me, I scream.
No one understands.
I need relief from this pain. But who to trust?
Where to go, relieve me, I beg.
I need my health back, my life back.
I pray for redemption.
I pray for relief.
When will the pain end?
When will the suffering stop.
I used to love all and be loved by all.
Now alone. Without anyone.
Hoping and waiting, for the anguish to dissipate.
the dissipation of hate.